Is Jesus Enough?

One of the most common things I hear as a military spouse is, "I just couldn't do it!"  I'm sure some people feel like they're offering a compliment by indicating that I'm a stronger person than they are, while others spout it off as a trite response to me telling them my husband is in the Air Force.  Some probably truly believe what they're saying- that a life of separation due to TDYs and deployments would leave them lonely and alone more often than they'd care to be, and the fear of their husband (or wife) being in harm's way because of their job is more than they think they can handle.  But I can tell you this: I'm not some amazingly strong person with excellent coping mechanisms.  In fact, if you were to ask a psychologist they'd probably tell you my coping mechanisms are more like avoidance mechanisms at times.  And there are times where I absolutely hate having my husband gone for days at a time, but there are also times where I relish the time alone.  Yes, I have kids, but I'm alone with them during the day anyway, so the time at night and on weekends is all that's different when he's away.  That doesn't mean I don't miss him, or that I don't enjoy having him around.  It's that I've always been someone who likes some alone time every now and then, and I enjoy the relative freedom that it offers on occasion. 

However, these things aren't what get me through life as a military spouse (or even life in general).  Early on in our marriage, I was at a low point.  We had just moved to a new place, base housing wasn't yet available so we lived in an apartment and knew no one, and the Iraq war was just kicking off.  My husband was on a flying mission somewhere overseas and, as was typical for him, would call me every day or two.  When he was going somewhere where he wouldn't be able to call me, he would simply let me know it would be a few days before I heard from him again.  I was okay with this.  As long as I wasn't expecting a call, I wouldn't panic if I didn't hear from him.  And there were times when I wouldn't hear from him for a few days in a row.  But one of these times I didn't hear from him when I was supposed to, and I started to worry a little.  The next day he didn't call, and I was getting concerned.  The day after that, I started to panic.  It was a Sunday morning and I was getting ready for church, and as I washed my hair in the shower I started to lose it.  I don't mean I was sad so I started to cry.  I mean I had a whole variety of awful things that could have happened to my husband running through my head and had a complete and total breakdown, sobbing and crying out loud to God, asking Him to make these things I had conjured up in my imagination not true, and to let me hear from Justin.  And still the phone didn't ring.  As I stood there crying in the shower, I realized that God was there.  He was listening.  I knew without a doubt that I wasn't just talking to the water running over my face.  I was calling out to an omnipresent God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe, and that He loved me and cared for me and was listening to my cries.  And that is when it hit me: He hasn't left me.  He will never leave me.  Even when my husband leaves me, whether it's because of work or, God-forbid a tragedy that leaves me suddenly alone, the Lord will still be there by my side.  He promised His people in Joshua 1:9 that He would be with them wherever they went, and that promise holds true for His people today.  According to Deuteronomy 31, He will never leave us or forsake us.  When it feels like we are all alone, that there is no one there for us, God is.  So I had to ask myself: Is Jesus enough?  Can I go through this life married to a man in a potentially dangerous job, trusting that I will be okay no matter what happens to us?  Do I truly believe the words I sing to Him- that He's all I want, all I need, that He's more than enough for me?  Because if I can't back those words up then I better stop singing them.  Right then and there I realized that yes, He is enough for me.  When nothing else in life seems right, when everything is scary and upside-down, Jesus will still be enough.  He will carry me through any situation He allows to come into my life and, as a result, I will be okay.  And do you know what happened as soon as I gave this sacrifice of faith up to the Lord?  The phone rang.  My husband was completely fine, just stuck in a place where the phone operators were asking them to pay cash before using the phone.  The story from his side is actually comical to me now, and I know the Lord was just using those old babushkas to hold him up in his calling me until I released my fears to Him.  God also reminded me before it was all over that if something were to happen to Justin, I wouldn't be left wondering.  I would be notified and that He would be right there to shore me up.

So let me caution you, if you are a believer, before you tell someone that you "just can't" do something, ask yourself: Is Jesus enough?  Do I mean what I say when I sing those worship songs?  Do I trust His Word enough to place my life in His hands? It's easy to say, "Yes Lord, I want to go to Heaven.  Save me from my sins."  It's a whole other thing to actually step out in faith with the tangible, to place your marriage and the life of your spouse (and other loved ones) in His hands and say, "I can do this because I have Jesus and He is enough."