Pain is relative.  God's love is not.  That isn't to say certain things are or should always be felt more intensely than others.  But the event that causes excruciating emotional pain to some might be just a drop in the bucket to others.  The reverse is also true.  Our family learned this lesson the hard way in 2012.  After just having moved cross-country from California, where we lived for 6 years (as per the military's orders), we settled into our first place as home-owners in Virginia.  Within a few weeks of getting here, we found out I was pregnant.  Our initial reaction was shock, mainly because our experience was that it takes us an average of 2 years to get pregnant.  And in fairness because our second son was not yet 1 year old (that would happen the next month we were here) and we simply didn't expect to have 2 babies so close together.  But we trusted God's timing and plan, and finally started getting used to the idea of being a family of 5.  At 8 weeks we heard a strong heartbeat, and again at 15, which was a huge relief after losing our second baby 8 weeks into the pregnancy.  I had a funny feeling a few weeks after that 15- week appointment but figured it was paranoia after having miscarried once already.  I wasn't feeling much movement and was more exhausted than I'd ever been in my life, but chalked that up to keeping up with a very busy toddler, homeschooling a kindergartener, and settling into a new home and all that entails.  Unfortunately, when I went to my next appointment at 19 weeks, the baby had no heartbeat.  Now, you may wonder why I say pain is relative after having experienced such a loss.  I will tell you.  While in many ways this loss was much harder than our first miscarriage- I was further along in the pregnancy, I was just getting used to the idea that I was in fact pregnant (vs before when I readily accepted it after waiting so long), I was a week away from the gender-revealing ultrasound, I had started mentally decorating the nursery for either gender, and we had made plans to rearrange 3 of 4 bedrooms in our house to accommodate our newest family member- it wasn't our first loss.  I don't think anything can compare to the pain of losing a child, along with your hopes, plans and dreams, for the first time.  It had never occurred to me that I might actually miscarry at some point.  In fact, I knew so many others who had that I figured statistics were on my side and we were safe.  So when it happened that first time, I experienced more shock and denial than anything.  This loss was, in some ways, less painful for me because a friend who ministered to us immediately after shared her story of loss- she got to hold her precious child for 2 hours before he passed away.  How could I possibly know the pain she had experienced?  God showed me His mercy to us in our pain- we could adopt some distance from our hurt because we never got to hold our child in our arms then have to give him up.  He was also merciful in not revealing to us the baby's gender.  While this may have consoled some people, I believe it would only have made our loss that much more poignant. To some, losing a grandparent might be more painful than losing a parent if that grandparent raised them.  For others, financial insecurity might be more difficult to handle.  Whatever the case, as I look forward to what the new year holds, I hope I am able to be sensitive to the pain of others, and not try to compare it with mine, but to love them as God always does.  Fully, completely, and unconditionally.  Because no matter how big or small our circumstances, His love is always the same because He is always the same.